Monday, February 14, 2011

The Great Valentine...

I was awakened this morning by sunlight streaming across my pillow. I wanted to pull the blanket back over my face, to stay snuggled in the warmth of my mattress and just be a tad bit lazy, but I looked over at my husband and realized that I had purposed to get up and prepare his breakfast and pack his lunch box before he headed off to work. Out of duty? Maybe. Out of love? Absolutely!
That may sound a little strange to some of you who have always done such things to bless your spouse. Early in our marriage his work schedule had awful hours -- he left for work at 4:30 and I was not that -- ahem -- ambitious enough to wake and see to his needs. I was too busy being selfish in part. Maybe a little sleepy. Maybe confused as to how the mechanics of our relationship should work, being newly wed and thus new to surrendering my will to another as one. Over the last few years I have finally learned that his understanding of love - his picture of true love - was demonstration through acts of service, and I have tried more often than not, barring sick days, to be just that type of wife. The wife he needs and desires. I hope I am succeeding.

Anyway, I had wanted so much to be a blessing to Les on this Valentine’s Day, and so I shrugged off the warmth of the covers and my slippers plodded softly down the stairs into the kitchen to begin my day by being a blessing to my husband, and where I was immediately grateful that love for my husband had prompted me awake.

Why do we celebrate Valentine’s Day anyway? The holiday started centuries ago, originating from pagan rituals of fertility until it was Christianized in about the third century. These days we don’t really relate the holiday with anything religious, but we do ascribe sentiments of love, usually giving choice gifts to our sweetheart. That was what amazed me about this morning…

You see - He sent me a gift this morning -- a beautiful Valentine's Day sunrise – as if I were His sweetheart. It was extravagant, punctuating the space between the horizon and the far reaches of the heavens. I have been awake enough times to see the sun rise in my life, but this one was exceptional in the way that He painted the clear morning sky with swirling shades of pink fading into the heights of the azure sky closest to the stars. It was such an awesome sight, this gift of a sunrise, and it made me stop in a moment of thanks and feel the blessing wash over me as gratitude for something so pure and lovely that is often unnoticed or taken for granted. Just like His love…

It’s true – there are so many days when I pray and I think He loves me and know He loves me and it is just a deep truth that I say when I thank Him for His grace and provision and mercy. But how often do I reflect on what that really means, that love? I would venture to guess that when I was first introduced to that knowledge of His saving grace, when I first understood what it really meant to know Him in a way that I’d never known before, like that intimate connection that is prevalent in the closest and most cherished of relationships, I probably thought about it often and dwelled on it and turned it over in my mind. “For God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son…” (John 3:16). How often do we hear it? How precisely can we quote it. But there is so much in that small verse…Such a powerful statement…He loved me. ME!

Sometimes it’s still such an astonishing thought when I think of the sinner that I am, selfish and always striving to be selfless, thankless and always striving to be thankful, never coming quite close enough to what I think I should be…impure and imperfect with little blotches of sin and stain that, though washed white by the Blood of the Lamb, still are visible to me every time I fail…I cannot always comprehend such love -- such unconditional and sacrificial and perfect and pure love. A love so great that it has no end.

I am reminded of Romans 8, where it says in verse two: “For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death…” Free. Love that produces freedom. I do not have to dwell on my failures. I am free. I am free. It takes a moment for it to sink in, for the simple truth of it to dawn on me once again, like a new revelation, only not new but merely rediscovered. Amazing. Grace. Oh! And after a moment, I realize it…Amazing grace. Set in to motion by His love…

And then in verses 14 and 15 we read: “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.” Children. We are His children. Undeserved and selfish, but adopted as sons and daughters. Grafted in. Held in His Holy Hands. Adopted. What does that mean?? I think of my own adopted children – three daughters, two sons. How much I love them. How they are my own children. How I love them as much as I love my only biological son. Les and I have accepted them, knit them into the loving circle that is our family. Love….Again, that word. And I am adopted! Into His family. I am His child!!! I am loved by Our Father.

Verse 31 says: “…If God be for us, who can be against us?” What first comes to mind is His presence, always, that brings peace through His protection. His shelter and His banner, covering me with His love. Safety. Security. Peace in the midst of storms. I am reminded of the low points in my life when I was needed someone to protect me. How I often didn’t know where to turn in my imperfection for fear of being rejected. How there were times when I was scared and I didn’t know how things were going to play out in the drama of my life…How I needed a hero to rescue me from all that was tumbling around me. How I finally found all of that in Him! He became all for me because of His great and abiding love. I didn’t need to fear anything. He was there, carrying me through my troubles, bearing my burdens. Holding out His precious Hands for me to collapse into, weary with emotion and drained by life, and rest my very soul. He refreshed me. He gave me His shelter…protection. I was able to finally rest in His peace because He came to my rescue. Rescue...

Further I read, hungry and eager, the words filling my soul with truths that cannot be denied. I search. I seek. Ah…Verse 32 begins the beauty of it all – the miracle. “He that spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?” Gave up His Son…for us all. All. That means for me, too! I am not excluded. I am not forgotten. I am not left out of this great and perfect love. I am His child, saved by His grace, through the death of His Son. Grafted in and afforded His protection, His shelter, His mercy. Oh unspeakable and amazing joy!!! I think of my own children. How would it be to give up a child for love’s sake? Could I do it? Could I so selflessly let go of the little ones that I’ve raised, without hesitation? Could I bear to see their suffering, even while recalling all the precious moments I have savored and treasured in my heart? How could He do it? I look again at the words. He freely gave. For us all. Because of His great love for us. Oh, to really see that love, that perfect gift from the Father. To remember Him in that special moment and feel the truth of all these things sink into my soul…He has loved me with an everlasting love and I KNOW IT! My soul rejoices with this truth, this treasure that I hold to my heart and lock in there. I am loved! LOVED!!!!

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